haha! Never.
have you ever just struggled to get inspiration or motivation for anything? not like I am depressed, there's just always so much going on in life.
so.. there's some super big things going on like:
1. I moved. well.. kind of. I am still in a dorm and living on campus, but I've got this super sweet room by myself.
2. I started my big girl job. well.. kind of. I am doing it part time this semester just to get my feet wet.
3. I will graduate in May. There is no kind of here. This is legitimately happening.
4. I got an A in LOGIC last semester. Yeah.. didn't see that one coming at all, did you?
now that you know what has been going on in my life, I will pretend to listen to what has been going on in yours.. oh? work is the same.. how's that awful person you work with? still awful? boo. I feel like we should slash their tires, hypothetically. Oh, you and your significant other broke up? super boo.. they were a douche/psychotic. You deserve someone waaaaay more sane. You gave up on your New Years Resolutions? yeah.. I don't even make them any more.
Which brings us to the point of this blog which is........
I am a horrible person.
Okay, not really.. only kind of. Sometimes my attempts at humor are rather awful like:
1.when I tell a minimum of three children per year that Santa Claus is diabetic and will die if he eats their cookies. (that way, when they wake up in the morning and see the cookies gone, they assume Santa is dead.)
2. when I decide to randomly leap across large areas screaming how alive the hills are with the sound of music.. and then making an awful face at people when I get weird looks.
These are rather awful in drastically different ways, which I am sure you can imagine.
One year, my New Years Resolution was to change this about myself. I planned for weeks.. being as mean as I could so I could get all the awful out of me.. telling people that they weren't as funny as they thought they were.. telling my siblings they were adopted and I could prove it.. putting salt in sugar shakers.. I. Was. A. Tyrant.
I went to watch the strawberry drop that year. (In Manhattan, KS - the "Little Apple", as it were, a ball in the shape of an apple that actually looks like a strawberry is dropped much the same as the ball is dropped in Times Square, except waaaaay not.) The last 15 minutes of the previous year, I was feeling good about myself. "Yes, self.. this is the year I understand that not everyone can be as awesome as I am and that I can not fault someone for not being cool." By the time it was 5 minutes to the cher.. I mean strawber.. I mean apple drop, I was feeling pretty good about myself - thinking "yes! this *is* the year! this is the time! I will be sweet and demure and not let my mouth get ahead of me and not always say what everyone is thinking and is too scared to and not be mean! This! Could! Work!"
at 12:02 on my way back to my vehicle after watching the apple drop, I noticed a girl wearing Uggs and a mini skirt. For the first little bit, I ignored the fact that I was in approximately 18 shirts and multitudes of layers everywhere and said to myself, "she's a grown up. she can do what she wants." Then it happened.. I was passing her on the sidewalk and she asked if she could walk with me to my car and borrow my gloves till we got there. Before I could even stop myself, I had asked her if maybe she would like to borrow a whole outfit from me in a tone that was icier than the bottom 90% of a glacier.
yup. 2 minutes. Shortest Resolution ever.
so now, I just try to be nicer sometimes. Sometimes.
Something I've noticed about where I'm at in Oklahoma? an extreme lack of mini skirts and Ugg boots..
maybe this is where I'm supposed to be.. :)
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