Levar Burton

So, I am a huge nerd. Have been for a long time.

Especially when I was like 7. My two favorite TV shows were

          1. Reading Rainbow
          2. Star Trek : TNG

Now that I'm a grown up, I realize that actors can be in more than one show at a time - especially ones that involve a tiny cross section of common viewers, like Reading Rainbow and Star Trek.

I was in that small cross section of common viewers, and I will conjecture that is why I am an emotional wreck. Imagine, if you will for a minute with me, a 7 year old me. I was super cute - had HUGE glasses. I had old lady hair, and thought I was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

It was a daily ritual to come home from school, watch Reading Rainbow, go play outside, possibly do my homework, and then in the evenings, watch Star Trek, MacGyver, and Night Court with my dad.

The first time I saw Levar on Star Trek, it didn't even cross my mind that this man had been reading me books mere hours before. A few days later, I was up to my nightly routine and noticed he looked familiar. All of a sudden, my 7 year old worlds came crashing down around me! Holy crap! How could this man read me books and then make it to the Delta galaxy to kick some alien booty? This. Wasn't. Possible.

I had to get to the bottom of it.

I asked my dad about it and he said that the man's name was Levar Burton and that he was an actor who played multiple roles. It still didn't make sense to me (I've never been quick on the uptake), so I pouted.

The next day, I asked my grandpa who merely suggested that while it was the same man in real life, the real life man was actually magical, and he did actually kick alien booty. It all made sense.

I still firmly believe that Levar Burton is a magical fairy creature, simply waiting for another chance to climb aboard the Voyager and save us from impending doom.
Or, he could just read me a picture book. :)

Dude.

I have the most amazing friends and family ever, I should start by saying that. My parents are wonderful, my siblings are my friends, my not dead grandparents do a great job of being grandparents (clearly the dead ones can't do a very good job.. the chocolate they give would probably taste like mold or something even grosser..), my extended family is amazing. My friends, who do not have to put up with me, but do are equally as amazing.

Can I remind you that I said before that my parents are amazing? Keep this in mind for the rest of this post....

My mom is a nurse. Has been for 30 years now. She's a very good nurse - she has her Master's degree in it, loves teaching people how to be nurses, loves helping people. The woman has won awards and been invited into honor societies and is amazing.

I want to know how. When, as children, something happened to us, she had the bedside manner of an angry badger. Let me give you an example... when I was little and thought I needed a band aid (band aids magically make things better, right? duh.), my mom would always make sure I was bleeding first. And if I wasn't, by the time she determined I might need a band aid, I had lost a pint of blood.

OR here is an example of a conversation about how I feel like crap.....

"mom, I don't feel good."


"what does it feel like?"


"it feels like there are 7000 little men in my body jumping on my organs, causing them to rupture, bleed profusely, and possibly causing permanent damage."


"you're fine. go play."


Yes, I have a flair for the dramatic, but what if there really *had* been 7000 little men inside me causing permanent damage? She would have felt like crap - and a different kind of crap.. probably mostly.

That would have been a great front page for the National Enquirer, though

"Beautiful Young Life Smushed Because of 7000 Tiny Little Men Causing Permanent Damage and Flair for the Dramatic"


It would have been the most popular edition of the Enquirer. Ever.

You bet. :)

Is This What Being a Grown Up is Like?

Can I make a confession? I have yet to sleep past 9 o'clock a.m. this week.

You might be thinking to yourself - "wait a second! This kid, just a week ago, was talking about how she could sleep all day. I feel shammed, lied to, schemed.. I feel like I invested all my money with Bernie Madoff! (too soon for that one? apologies if so..)"

In response to the imaginary thoughts I just placed in your head, I must say that I agree. I am working to correct these atrocities. Here are activities that I have been doing to wear myself out - both during the day (so I am more tired at night) and at night (so I can force myself to stay up, thus hopefully sleeping in later):

1. Homework. Yes, I don't normally do it, really. :) My grades are usually made immaculate by a little thing I like to call 'Participation Points'.

2. Run around like I am crazy. sample thought.. "huh.. Big Lots does not in fact get new stuff in on the hour every hour. Good. To. Know."

3. Go to the lake. There are several around here and when I drive there, I inevitably get out and proceed back to #2, minus Big Lots, plus imaginary fish.

4. Avoid doing laundry at all costs. I would say I am pretty successful at this. My roommate would probably agree, right after she barfs.


This list could go on for a while. Suffice it to say that I am trying to get back to *my* normal Circadian Rhythm. It's just not working. Suggestions?

If not, I'm headed to the lake. Blake the Fish and I had a fight today and I must go apologize. :)

Vamlumtime's Is Serious Times.

There was a time in my life when I wasn’t clumsy. Two times, in fact. Well, more like one and a half.

The first time was when I was like 6 and in gymnastics.  This is the half time – because I was still pretty clumsy.

The full time I wasn’t clumsy was my freshman and sophomore years of college when I was in Show Choir. You can’t be clumsy and be in Show Choir. It.  Just.  Doesn’t.  Work.

But, now, I have been away from gymnastics and dancing for an exorbitant amount of time.  I still remember steps, but can’t execute them as awesomely as I used to.

I also have awkward limbs. I feel like I have freakishly long ape arms and I have pretty long legs. This is important for the next part of the story. Oh, and also? A couple of weekends ago, I got this awesome pair of new shoes.. huge platforms with a 5” heel. Oh.. I forgot another thing you should probably know - I somehow miraculously ended up on the Homecoming committee at my school. I don’t really know how it happened, but I had to go to the Homecoming dance.

The day was crazy busy. I started super early in the morning dealing with wreck stuff. I had to help a professor with a mailing, go decorate for the homecoming dance, help with a concession stand, then get cute, and finally, go host the dance.

All the stuff before getting cute and going to the dance is irrelevant to this, so we will fast forward through it. I put on my special event perfume, put on my super cute crazy platforms, and headed to the dance. When people started coming, we were having a decent time. I was looking super cute, and having fun. The DJ comes in and starts playing music that I can’t stand, so I decide to go outside. As I head outside the building, in my super cute platforms, I miss a stair and overstepped the next one.

I freaking fell down the entire staircase in front of the building where the Dance was. Seriously.  Did a flip. I hear it was legendary? I have several concrete kisses on several parts of my body. It’s pretty legit.

Long story short? Concrete makes a pretty terrible Valentine.  :)

Temple of Death

dude.. I was so not made for dorm life.

We got a new podmate. This fact in itself is fine. In fact, it was quite inevitable. The only struggle I have with this new podmate? She has people over till 3 a.m. Again, in itself, a fine fact.. we're all grown ups. However, when these people are insanely loud, it kind of sucks. Especially when it's like 3 nights in a row and I've had a rough three days already. It kind of sucks to finally get to sleep at 2:30, only to be woken at 3 by Flava Flav's son/way younger brother/some kind of kin or the guy who is trying WAY too hard to impress this girl. This is a sample of a typical conversation I wake up to.. (reenactments. actual events may vary..)

Flav: OMG, boooyyyyyyzzzzzzzzzzzzz, we are getting sooo wasted at 3 in the morning! We must be hardcore gangsters. For real. 

Podmate: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Flav! You're so funny, I am going to laugh loud enough that people in Chicago can hear me! 

Boy In Love With Podmate: (he has to yell over both of them..) YOU'RE SO PRETTY! I JUST WANT TO HOLD YOU! WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND? I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER, I SWEAR! SERIOUSLY! YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING...........................

Long story short, in order to get to the police station in a timely manner (to file a report for aforementioned wreck), I had to get up at nearly the butt crack of dawn this morning - meaning I got like thirty seconds *total* sleep. This is not a positive situation for anyone who might have possibly interacted with me. In fact, there might be a maimed Kum-N-Go clerk somewhere.. I can't account for my actions. 

I. Needed. Caffeine. 

I decided to purchase one of my favorite energy drinks - Monster Nitrous. This is normally a very enjoyable experience for my life. I drink something that tastes roughly like Surge (Mindy cred if you remember how Surge tastes) and I get to be a much less poopy version of myself. 

This time, however, I decided to look into the can. Holy crap! It's lime freaking green. Like as green as I imagine leprechaun pee would be. Greener than my Surge pee! 

My friend Susan commented on how fast I was drinking it, and deciding not to bite her head off (the caffeine was beginning to make me semi-sane again), I said "my body is a temple. Of noxious chemicals." Then, never quite knowing when to stop (I think that switch in my brain is broken..), I took this train of thought to the seven hundred millionth degree and said "my body? is a temple. of death."

know what's awesome? It's 10 hours later and I still can't sit still. 

:)

I Want My Life, not This Stupid One.

I have a confession to make. One of the side effects of being as awesome as I am? I end up being a super spoiled princess. I don't like hearing the word "no" - it's generally not in my vocabulary. Yes, I am smart about what I ask for, but I am also super charming (and generally much more humble than this..), so I usually get what I want.

This probably goes back to a time when I was rather small. My parents both worked early in the morning, so I got to hang out with my grandparents till it was time to go to preschool. When I decided to wake up (see.. waking up whenever I feel like it has been a part of my life for a long time :).. ), my grandpa would inevitably ask me what I would like to eat for breakfast. Most of the time, he would give me options, and most of the time I picked an english muffin with orange marmalade, or biscuits and gravy without sausage (he always made it without sausage for me.. I have always been super spoiled..). One morning, however, I saw that my grandma had made a chocolate cake the night before. My grandma's chocolate cake is legendary. Google it, I dare you. People have died trying to get it. Anyway, she had made a chocolate cake in her special chocolate cake pan, and I spied it. I decided to go waaaaaaaaaay out on a limb and tell my grandpa something I had never thought before.

Grandpa " good morning, sweetheart! what would you like for breakfast this morning?"

Amy "chocolate cake and Pepsi?"

Grandpa "coming up!"

no. joke.

I think he created a monster.

A super fun, fabulous monster with killer accessories and a cute car.

oh, and about the title? I got in a car wreck and don't have my super cute car and my job had to change. So this spoiled princess is doing the equivalent of stamping her feet (that may or may not have actually happened several times tonight) and throwing a tantrum. I'll keep you posted.. :)

Once Upon a Time..

There was a girl who loved grammar, but couldn't find it in herself to finish her ellipses.. :)

but seriously.

I think I should live in a Group Home.. you know the ones with constant adult supervision? Yes, I love to shirk responsibility, but I find it difficult to get myself dressed every morning (well.. morning is a rather loose term.. it would probably be more like afternoon..). Here's an example of what my days look like:

Noon: notice that I have once again slept till noon. also notice that I have not eaten in over 12 hours and that                               might be why my stomach is suuuuper growly..

12:15 - convince myself that sleeping till 12:30 is something that I won't be able to do forever, that I should embrace it and cherish it, and fall back asleep..

12:30 - sleep straight through it

1:15 - realize that I have literally slept waaay too long and decide that I should get up and do some homework

1:16 - begin to plan the things I will do to be a productive citizen as soon as I get out of bed.. usually including: shower, work, responsibilities in the category "other", and consuming mass quantities of soda



Finally out of bed, I think to myself "self, let's be a productive citizen. starting now." I run to the shower, smell so much better when I get out, and then comes the hard part.. getting dressed. I wish I could live in my usual night time clothing choice which generally involves two things: super short shorts and a hoodie. Contradictory? Absolutely. The way I roll? You better freaking believe it. However, since super short shorts are not generally acceptable clothing in most situations, I must wear something else. Yes, I have a vast array of tshirts that I love, and jeans that make my butt actually seem to appear from thin air, but I struggle to focus long enough to pick something out. Sometimes? I just blindly pick out a pair of pants and a shirt. Usually not a good idea..

Eventually, I put something on my body and move on to the next thing on my list.. which becomes the Internet. yup. usually sucks the rest of the day up before work? you bet your behonky.

Anyway, I feel like if I had constant adult supervision, I might actually be able to be a productive citizen instead of a textbook case of one too many neuroses. I need to look into this.. after I smell better than I do right now.. :)