Temple of Death

dude.. I was so not made for dorm life.

We got a new podmate. This fact in itself is fine. In fact, it was quite inevitable. The only struggle I have with this new podmate? She has people over till 3 a.m. Again, in itself, a fine fact.. we're all grown ups. However, when these people are insanely loud, it kind of sucks. Especially when it's like 3 nights in a row and I've had a rough three days already. It kind of sucks to finally get to sleep at 2:30, only to be woken at 3 by Flava Flav's son/way younger brother/some kind of kin or the guy who is trying WAY too hard to impress this girl. This is a sample of a typical conversation I wake up to.. (reenactments. actual events may vary..)

Flav: OMG, boooyyyyyyzzzzzzzzzzzzz, we are getting sooo wasted at 3 in the morning! We must be hardcore gangsters. For real. 

Podmate: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Flav! You're so funny, I am going to laugh loud enough that people in Chicago can hear me! 

Boy In Love With Podmate: (he has to yell over both of them..) YOU'RE SO PRETTY! I JUST WANT TO HOLD YOU! WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND? I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER, I SWEAR! SERIOUSLY! YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING...........................

Long story short, in order to get to the police station in a timely manner (to file a report for aforementioned wreck), I had to get up at nearly the butt crack of dawn this morning - meaning I got like thirty seconds *total* sleep. This is not a positive situation for anyone who might have possibly interacted with me. In fact, there might be a maimed Kum-N-Go clerk somewhere.. I can't account for my actions. 

I. Needed. Caffeine. 

I decided to purchase one of my favorite energy drinks - Monster Nitrous. This is normally a very enjoyable experience for my life. I drink something that tastes roughly like Surge (Mindy cred if you remember how Surge tastes) and I get to be a much less poopy version of myself. 

This time, however, I decided to look into the can. Holy crap! It's lime freaking green. Like as green as I imagine leprechaun pee would be. Greener than my Surge pee! 

My friend Susan commented on how fast I was drinking it, and deciding not to bite her head off (the caffeine was beginning to make me semi-sane again), I said "my body is a temple. Of noxious chemicals." Then, never quite knowing when to stop (I think that switch in my brain is broken..), I took this train of thought to the seven hundred millionth degree and said "my body? is a temple. of death."

know what's awesome? It's 10 hours later and I still can't sit still. 

:)