That title? Yeah.. it's a whole sentence. And the general gist of this blog, in a round about sort of way. But you should definitely read the first paragraph about Spring Break. I think it has some quality "intelligence for your life", to quote Mr. John Tesh.
Anyway.. it's been a while since my last post. Apologies, it's Spring Break. I have two things running through my head about Spring Break - 1) Spring Break?! It's still Winter, bozos! Frostbite? It's not nearly as sexy as tanned, glistening skin. I suppose my choice of Spring Break destination would make a difference - I did come home, which is Northeast Kansas.. and it's like 40 degrees colder. This is not an exaggeration. Anyway, shivering on Spring Break? yeah. not cool. Except, it is very cool.. but not cool in the "hey man, that is super legit!" definition of cool. No, it would have to be the "oh - it's still al little cool outside, even though I am already wearing three parkas, six sweaters, and nine pairs of long underwear." definition. Yup. Gonna go with that one. 2) This particular break needs to be renamed. Instead of Spring Break, it needs to be called "Spring Super Productive Being An Adult All the Time Week". This week is chock full of things that I want to do, have to do, and need to do.. several things involving the wreck and switching cars over, getting new phones, switching cell providers, and that is only the first three hours! I kind of can't wait to get back to school and slow down again..
But seriously.. the reason you came.. the title. Oh, and you get a gold star if you made it this far, I am having an ADD attack this morning.
(Imagine Maury Ballstein from Zoolander when he sings that bopbadabaabopbabopbadabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa to tell Derek that Mugatu wants Zoolander for his new campaign..)
I have found my future husband. Yes. Seriously. Click the link. Then come back so I can tell you why this gentleman is perfect for me.
This man is perfect for me for several reasons. I will now list them.
1. His beard. It is legit. I like facial hair. A lot.
2. He knows his gun safety. He isn't flailing that rifle around so anyone can accidentally get shot. Nope. He's cradling it, and made sure the muzzle was pointing up and away from mostly anybody. If someone ends up on the business end of that gun, it's their own fault.
3. He's got sparkling eyes. 'Nuf said.
4. He lives in California. Yes, it would be tough to get used to going to the beach every day, but I think I could manage.
5. He looks to be around 6' tall. This is an important factor - I don't want to be taller than him when I wear my super cute heels!
6. His last name is Kinman, my initials don't have to change. I like my initials.
7. (this one is the most important) HE KILLS BEARS!
I don't know how or when I became afraid of bears, I just always have been. We (as a family) camp a lot in Colorado. I can remember seeing them since I was little and having to put things away and seeing tents mangled while people were gone, but I don't think that's what it is. I would like to conjecture that my fear of bears is my older brother's fault. We would be on some remote four wheel drive trail, the only people around for years, and inevitably, we would have to pee. In that case, he would find a tree and I would attempt to find a semi-comfortable log. My older brother always finished before me, and would always, ALWAYS sneak up the mountain a bit, then come running down screaming "BEAR!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!" This usually meant that I would sit for approximately 3 seconds trying to decide whether to pull up my pants and then run, or risk falling down the mountain because my pants were still around my ankles to reach the safety of the Jeep before the bear ate me. Pants around my ankles, arms flailing, I would get closer to the car and hear my parents scolding my brother. "Brad, you have to stop that. She is terrified of bears. You know that." This was the opportunity to pull up my pants and face my family with a shred of dignity................
Anyway, the second picture of this guy? Not only does he kill bears, he then makes furniture out of them! He kills bears AND is handy around the house? AND I can sit on one of my irrational fears?!
Now, I just have to figure out how to build a time machine. Stupid Laws of Physics. I bet Seth could build me one out of bear intestines. :)
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