Dude.. Can I be honest? Sometimes I drink energy drinks and get even weirder. And yes, it is possible. And yes, it just happened. And yes, no one is really around to buffet the weirdness, so I am writing a blog. And yes, I just correctly used buffet in a sentence. I can't tell you the language of origin because that would take too long and my hands are shaky.
Monster Dub is my Frienemy. You should or should not try it.
Okay so anyway.. what I was going to originally be writing about.....
1. It's Spring. Can someone alert Mother Nature to this fact, please? Because I could see my breath last night. That should not happen in the month of MAY. Seeing my breath in May is like a panda giving birth to a deer - probably the most horrifying experience ever. The poor panda.. it was an accidental pregnancy.. she never saw it coming. Now, the deer has run away because its mom can't relate to it.. The deer is all pierced and tatted up and on its way to some state Hunting area to commit deericide. It's going to happen. Look it up. Let's have some sun, mmmk MN? I would hate to see a deer on the side of the road all pierced and tatted cause you can't get your stuff together. kthx.
2. The previous paragraph? Was super weird. Erase that from your memory and chalk it up to lack of sleep and way too much B12.
3. Being a grown up rocks when you get to have Nutter Butter Bites for dinner.
4. I should be studying for a Final in 3 hours. Nah.. I'd rather keep you entertained.
5. I have a cough. I think I am dying. But like actually not, because I just got some test results back from the Doctor and I am definitely not dying and definitely not pregnant. Two things that made my year. But this scare reminded me of another time I was convinced I was dying - this was when I was little and had head lice. I've only had it once, but that was enough. We (my older brother and I) got called in to the nurse for a routine check and immediately were quarantined. They called our parents and my dad had to come get us. My mom met us at home and this is what she told me - "You got head lice, so I'm going to have to shave your head." Yes. In this trqumatic (I noticed this typo, but I'm not going to fix it. I feel like it drives home the fact that I am all jacked up on energy drinks.)moment, my mom's attempt at humor had me running out of the house, onto the porch, screaming that I would rather keep the head lice. My mom sent my dad out, but it was too late. My brain had already jumped to the conclusion that the head lice were going to somehow burrow into my brain and infest it and then cut off all oxygen and I would slowly asphyxiate while my parents were shampooing my older brother's head. A little dramatic? Perhaps. Welcome to my reality. I did have to cut my hair a little, and we got rid of the lice. And that is the only time I ever had them. But, every time someone says head lice, a part of my brain still freaks out and ties it to death. This is a disgusting paragraph, and you can erase this one from your memory, too.
6. I have several irrational fears. One of them? I can't wash my hands in the bathroom until the toilet has stopped refilling because I am scared the lines will somehow cross and I will be washing my hands with what I just flushed.
This post is way random, and will probably be used one day to send me to a mental institution.
Have at it. As long as there's a jump to conclusions mat. :)
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