This One Time

.. no, not at Band Camp. American Pie has kind of ruined that phrase for this entire generation. Maybe a better title would be
                                                        Funny Story
except if my mom reads it, she'll tell you that usually when I say funny story, it ends up being not so funny. Like when I called her and told her my car was stolen and started off the conversation with "funny story". So.. let's just call this one
                                                       Untitled (to put anything in parenthesis actually gives it a title, but why do                                                      many people do it?)


This summer is going to be legit. If you read this, there is a good chance we are facebook friends, because I am relatively certain there are only 3 people who read this ever. So, you should look at the picture of my office for the summer. I don't want to be braggy, but I never dreamed I would have an office like this at 24. Srsly. And the church I am working for has been super amazing. But, it reminds me a lot of the church we went to growing up. (we as in my family.. sorry.. I did not magically have a significant other, or a frog in my pocket. In fact, I don't have any pockets in the athletic pants I am wearing today, so there's nowhere to carry anything except my hands and I think the secretary might have freaked out a lot if I came in this morning leisurely carrying my soda and a frog. jussayin.) Not that reminiding me of the church I grew up in is a bad thing, in fact, quite a alot of funny things happened there. Or on the way there. You see, I am kind of anal about being on time places. If there is a prescribed time to be somewhere, I will do everything in my power to be there when it satrts, and hopefully earlier (as an event planner, it makes me crazy when people show up just when something is supposed to be starting.. can you not have gotten there 5 minutes earlier and we could all be in correct groupings?! come. on.)

So, the girls group that I was involved in made pies for people every year for Thanksgiving. It was one of our big fundraisers - we'll make the pies, you pay an extremely high price for them and we get to go on vacation this summer. That's how it worked. I wasn't able to drive yet, and my dad wasn't home from work. I decided that being late was the worst possible thing to be, so I decided I would hurridely ride my bike to church. I hopped on and noticed that there were convienent dirt tracks on the road - I wouldn't even have to look up! This would save me so much time! I could pedal like a fiend and end up where i needed to go! This. Would. Work.

And it did.. until I came to the parked car.

Yes, friends. In my teenage years, I ran into a parked car on my bike. It was a sad state of affairs in which I had to have twelve stitches on my middle finger of my right hand.

Some of you might be thinking - 'Amy, we've been friends for a long time. I never knew what happened there. But now I am going ot make fun of you until we die because you ran into a parked car on your bike when you were 16.'

In response? I would first agree. And then remind you that I skipped first grade and was way smarter than you when we were 7. Also? I would probably remind you of the fact that we aren't friends because I am the sharpest tool in the shed, we are friends because of our mutual awesomeness. And I might throw in a reference specific to our friendship.

And then you'd feel terrible.

And I would win at life.


This ending got really mean. I apologize.

puppies and kittens hugging and frolicking (had to counteract the mean..) :)

you. bet.

P.S. - I am not positive this one is funny.. I feel like it is more informational than hilarious. I may or may not still be doped up on codeine, which makes me crazy but not funny crazy. More like just psycho crazy. So, direct constructive criticism to:   amy.kiker@gmail.com

Promise it'll be funnier next time.